I'm baaaaccckk! :)

Dear Blog,
Oh how I have missed you. I write to you daily in my head. I write about my life, thoughts, joys, concerns and dissapointments. I write to you about my sweet, sweet girls and all the wacky things they say and do. I write to you about my relationships, I write to you about craft inspiration and finished projects. Honestly, I write often. Very often. But, it's all in my head! I've been majorly stuck in writing here because I am so very, very far behind. As in about six months behind! And we have BIG news here in Brewer land because we have a brand new member of our family (who isn't so new anymore!)

I'm sorry, dear Blog. I plan to be back! Well, as often as time allows!

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It is time to introduce my darling little (big) love bug Ellie! I pretty much know that anyone who does read this has already been introduced to Ellie in person or via Facebook. But, since this is my blog and for posterity's sake and because I can't move on until I do this properly....please let me introduce her again.

Here she is!


Isn't she a sweetie?! Look at all that dark hair! (We hear this every day!) Her "birth" day was a very special day. I was a little more prepared for the c-section this time around so I was prepping myself for the pain to come. My awesome friend, Kori was so gracious to come and photograph the whole day. She was at our house by 5 am to document us getting ready, saying goodbye to the girls and prepping at the hospital. (She was also a huge support to me and I am truly thankful that she was there with me. She has been one of my closest friends for many years and I love that I can be myself around her and she makes me laugh so much! I love it!)

Anyway, I gave myself little goals all morning and I knew that I could do it again (the c-section) if I took it step by step...no make-up, iv, prep, spinal, gurney, surgery, post-op (ouch!), recovery, walking, the first night (YEEOUCH!), etc and all the way through. It really was a good day and we were so delighted to meet out sweet baby, Ellie. We were shocked to see her head-full of dark hair and darker skin. Seriously, everyone was like...whoa, the small amount of Indian blood we have is coming through. My nurses joked that they hadn't seen a baby with that much hair that wasn't Hispanic. She is definitely our baby though. She looks a lot like Sophie and like my nephew, Ike. Sweet, sweet girl! Sophie (4.75 yrs) and Gracie (almost 2.5 ) weren't able to come into the Women's Center because of Swine flu and that was hard, but it was also easier I think. They did get to meet her through the glass of the nursery and that was so sweet. It has been a huge adjustment here at home! Grace especially has had a hard time, but I am happy to say that it has been getting better and now I can actually lay Ellie down for a minute on the couch without fear of her being hurt. (Seriously!)

{Click here to jump to Ellie's Brand New Day Slideshow}

Amazingly enough, she is over four months old now (sniff). I will write more about her and and the big girls later, but I guess I really wanted to share about her today, because the preciousness of her life has struck me in a new way as I have remembered the events of this same day last year. Last year at this time....the first Friday of June (Lum n Abner days here in my hometown .) was the day that I thought I was having a miscarriage. I had just found out the day before (Thursday) for sure that I was pregnant, although I had suspected it for a week or so. I was heavily involved in tornado relief during that time and Daniel was at home working on replacing our roof. The girls were napping and I took a test. It was positive and I immediately ran out and asked Dan to come down off the roof. I told him. We hugged. We were happy. We were overwhelmed. We were thankful. The next call was to my dad. I told I was going to have to cut waaay back on my tornado work because I was having another baby. He was quite happy! We told a few people that day and the next morning I was up early for a meeting (tornado) with two close friends. I was at the airport and actually I had just shared the news a little bit before and then had to use the restroom. There was lots of blood. My stomach dropped and I was certain that I had had a miscarriage. I had never had any bleeding and I really thought it was over. We went straight to the doctor. Dan and my sister, Jaclyn took turns with me. I had blood test. My levels were definitely showing pregnancy. I was told to return on Sunday to take another test and it would show if the numbers went up or down. Hard weekend. Very unsure about anything. But, to our amazement the numbers were up on Sunday. I went to the doctor on Tuesday and that began a month waiting and testing and more testing. My dr. says I had a baby who didn't play by the rules! The hcg levels weren't lining up with the size of my uterus, etc, etc. The numbers were big! Mt dr was concerned that I might have an ectopic pregnancy or that I might have miscarried.We finally had an ultrasound three weeks later and what a BLESSING to see her little heart beating! The tech did see a dark spot on the slide that showed obvious bleeding and what was very likely another sack that had pulled away and not made it. (A twin would explain the high hcg levels.) I don't know. In some ways it is hard not knowing if there was another baby there, but at the same time I know that the Lord's hand was on my life, my womb, and on Ellie. I am so thankful for her life. At this point we are pretty sure that Ellie will be our last biological child. As she grows that has started to hit me. The last baby. We've shared a few tears this week as I have loved on her and snuggled her up and whispered to her that she will always be my baby. She always will.

Just like Sophie. Just like Gracie.

Thank You, Jesus. May we be good stewards of these precious lives you have entrusted to us. To YOU be the Glory!

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Yay for a post! I think I am over my hump! Enjoy the wonderful slide show of Ellie's birth. Thank you, thank you, Kori! (She took like 800 plus pictures and then her and Jason graciously narrowed it down to about 8o or so. There are more good ones, but these tell the story well. :) Hopefully I will be back soon to share more of life here. Thanks for listening!

Still here

Just a note to say I'm still here. Quite big actually at 30 weeks pregnant. Unfortunately, I failed my 1 hour glucose test and have to go in for the long and grueling 3-4 hr test tomorrow morning. :( I was really hoping to not have GD this time around. It is SO hard to manage in general, especially during the holidays. (At least for a carb lover like me!)

I'm praying for grace and wisdom and strength and JOY on the journey.

Sophie (now 4 yrs, 2 months) and Grace (22 months) are both doing good. Growing, interacting (ie...fighting) with one another and keeping Dan and I on our toes. :) They are a huge blessing and they crack us up daily.

I have done nothing decorating wise to prepare for our sweet baby GIRL coming. I'm not in denial, I'm just much more laid back about everything this time. It will be challenging to lose our office/craft room, but I'm sure it will all work out. It is SO worth it. The new baby will have her own room as of now and then in a year or so when she is older we would like to give Sophie her own room and the little ones will share.

This is usually a very busy time for us preparing for the holidays. Usually lots of Christmas decorating, party planning, etc. This year, I have had to turn down a few decorating jobs so far and as hard as it is, I know that it is the right decision for right now. I really need to lay low and spend as much time at home with my family and with my feet up as possible to keep the physical pain (a huge struggle this time around) at bay and this sweet girl cooking in the oven as long as possible!

Hope you are all enjoying your Fall and Thanksgiving season. We do have SO much to be thankful for no matter what season of life we are in right now.

God bless!

friday night random-ness

-sophie, who will be FOUR in ten days, is addicted to band-aids. she's a pretty rough and tumble kind of girl and has quite a few "boo boos" lately. she hates blood, but as long as the band-aid is on she is OK. she just came and grabbed another one and i just smiled. in fact, sometimes her fav wal-mart treat is a box of character band-aids. weird? :)

-today i had the grand idea to paint on paper on our patio instead of on the easel. this was NOT a great idea for a 19 month old! grace, sophie and mommy were covered head to to by the time it was over.

-i was in a cleaning/organizing/throwing away mood today. the target was the dreadful play room. not quite done, but accomplished a lot during grace's nap. we have been shipping quite a few toys over to baby ike lately and it feels so good to get rid of some of the clutter.

-another weird sophie quirk...she packs bags, boxes, totes, etc every day with such a random hodge podge of stuff. we get ready to go somewhere and she runs to the playroom and grabs a bunch of stuff to fill her bag...a few little people, a stuffed cow, a couple of crayons, two blocks, a syringe from her dr kit, hair stuff, make-up, some plastic food, etc, etc, etc. it drives me bonkers!! i try and organize their toys so that they can actually play with them and we have bag upon bag of stuff. i'm about to empty all the bags and i've been working on teaching her purse appropriate stuff...like her hair stuff, lip gloss, pretend money, etc. we'll see how it goes!

-i won a new hello kitty cricut cartridge on e-bay today. WOO HOO! it will be great for making stuff for soph's hello kitty party.

-i'm totally looking forward to perusing boo mama's diptacular blog carnival. dips, YUM! :)

-well, i better go. gotta get this little goose to bed. looking forward to hanging out with some of my fav photographers tomorrow as well as eating some d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s ethnic food from my uncle. :)

happy labor day weekend!

Snuggle Puppy

{Gracie B. loves to snuggle with her babies lately.}

:)

overwhelmed

right now i am overwhelmed. with finances, with my home, my garage, my van. with case management work. with my fatigue. i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. i know that is such a cliche, but it is honestly how i feel at the moment. sometimes i wonder if i will ever have energy again. sometimes i have energy spurts, but they usually don't last very long. it makes me feel like such a stinky wife and mother.

i know that His grace is sufficient for me and that His power is made perfect in my weakness. sometimes I just don't tap into that.

we have a full week ahead including hours of meetings for me tonight and tomorrow. blah.

the other night i was at my little brother's house in fayetteville. him and some friends were having an impromptu concert. there were several college students there. kids that love God and have their whole lives ahead of them. we were all sitting on the floor in the dark room and as one of my friends was singing, tears unexpectedly pricked my eyes. i was thinking about missions and dreams and being young. not necessarily being a stay at home mom of two little ones with colored walls, a swollen belly, stacks of bills and extreme fatigue. (not that i would trade my husband or kids for the whole world.) i don't know, i just felt sad for a moment and the Lord gently reminded me that this is just a season. as all the different times of life are. the happy ones and the tough ones. even though the first few months after having sophie were so incredibly hard in so many ways, they were also some of the sweetest. i miss those times. maybe at some point i will look back at this season with fond memories. i know i will miss the stage that grace is at now. she is so precious and is learning new words and things every day. i will miss sophie's quirky little faces and funny expressions too.

i probably won't miss the heaving and the exhaustion and the early mornings and the colored walls.

it's all just a season.

now, back to work...

MDO Quotes, Rescue Mission, and Blackberries

The girls did enjoy their first day at Mother's Day Out. I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked to, but I did get some rest. That's ok, because SLEEP is a very important commodity in my world lately. :)


Apparently the boys greatly out-numbered the girls at MDO today. Grace was the only girl in her one year old class and Sophie mentioned all the boys a few times. She said "she likes boys!" :)

When I got them in the van to run errands I started asking Sophie all about it....Did you have fun? "Yes." Did you eat your lunch? "Yes?" Did you make a craft? "Yes." Did you learn anything? Pause for her to think about it... "Probably. " Smile from momma. :) Then I asked her about the potty. Did you use the potty? "Yep, I even poopied once." Really? Who wiped you? "Some grandma." :)

After a few errands and Grace had fallen asleep, Sophie begged to "watch a movie" on the couch. I finally consented and suggested one of Mommy's movies...The A & E version of "Pride and Prejudice." I lured her in with talk of pretty dresses, balls and horseback, but I really figured that it would put her right to sleep. Sure enough it did. It put us both to sleep! :)

I think their day was a success!

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Tomorrow I am joining my Mom, Sister (and my sweet nephew Ike), and Grandma on a "Rescue Mission" to help my sister Britt finish getting settled into her now home. She bought the cutest house and she needs a little help with finishing her un-packing and decorating. She also needs some hugs and laughs and prayers from her fam. I am looking forward to our time together...and of course I am looking forward to eating out in Rogers. YUM!

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Last, but certainly not least...I am happy to report that I am the proud owner of my second Blackberry Curve. My dear sweet original phone died a slow death drowning in a mug of coffee earlier this summer. I've been surviving on a little flip phone for the last month. My sweet, sweet friend, Alicia upgraded to an i-phone and gave me a great deal on her Blackberry and a few accessories. I am so very thankful! I can text again! The stinky part is that I lost all my numbers, so I will slowly get those added back in, but I am a happy camper!

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Well, Dan is out doing his nightly archery practice in the garage. I better finish packing for tomorrow and hit the sack!

'Night!

Mother's Day Out!

The girls started Mother's Day Out today at a local church. This is our first time ever to leave them somewhere other than with family or friends or our church nursery. I think it went well. They looked so cute with their bags/backpacks and lunch boxes. Sophie helped Grace and was very mature about the whole thing. My only concern today is the dreary/stormy weather and that a few of the kiddos were sad and crying when their mama's left. I think Grace will be ok if the crying doesn't scare her. Hopefully they will both make friends and be a blessing to their teachers.

{Sophie, Age 3 and 11/12ths}

{ Grace, Age 19 months}

{Sweet Sisters.}

I'm pleased with the $4 each outfits that we put together yesterday. I bought two gently used Children's Place skirts from a friend and I scored the tops at Wal-Mart for $2 each last night. The bows that I made for their Christmas outfits matched perfectly. Yay! I love cute and inexpensive, coordinating outfits! :)

{Come On, Sis! Let's Go!}

This mother won't be out too much today even though I am really craving Papa's! I have some cleaning to do today and I have some good Poppyseed Chicken leftovers. So today we are having Mother's Day Home Alone!

I have lots to do to get ready to be out of town for the next couple of days, but first I think I might close my eyes for a few minutes. :)