faith is the courage to accept acceptance ~ b. manning

{my dad and i- father's day 2008}

i feel like i need to address what i wrote about last night. i just want my parents to know that I love them so very much and i am so thankful to be their daughter. the support they have given me and daniel is amazing. one example is how they (and our entire family) rallied around daniel and i in a phenomenal way after gracie was born and we were all rushed to the NICU. they all stepped up, coordinated, took care of our needs, provided us a hotel, food, encouraging gifts, took care of sophie, spent time with gracie when we couldn't be there, encouraged, prayed for, cried with us, cleaned for us, and the list goes on and on. we have been so blessed to have a family that is not afraid to love deeply.

i'm learning something the hard way. parents aren't perfect. how humbling. whether they don't know the Lord or whether they seek Him with their lives, they aren't perfect. because they are human. they will mess up. gosh. i. mess. up. everyday. i pray for mercy every single day as i endeavour to love, nurture, train, and discipline my girls.

there is only ONE perfect Parent. He is a perfect Father. He loves unconditionally, His patience never runs out, His love never fails, His timing is perfect. His plans are perfect. His discipline in perfect. He is never selfish. He is never rude. He is the only Holy One.

That He seeks to pursue us, to love us, to never, ever give up on us is amazing. Amazing love.

My part, our part is to truly accept this Love, this Forgiveness, and to Trust, to Rely On HIM, to Surrender. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. My identity comes from Him. My acceptance comes from Him. Not from my parents, my husband, my family, or my friends. If I am depending solely on them for acceptance, approval, and unconditional love then I will never be satisfied. I will never feel whole. My wholeness lies solely in the one who created me. The one who breathed life into me. The one who dreamed my life from before the foundations of the earth.

As our speaker at church said this morning, "Don't treat God the way the world is treating us." He gets blamed for so much and the truth is we are in the middle of a battle. The Lover of our Souls vs the enemy of our souls and we are the "trophies" to be won in the war. He is the giver of all good things and oh the plans He has for us.... if we were to recount them they would be too wonderful to tell!

Jesus, I love You. Light the fire once again. Teach us the true heart of a parent.

Family, I love you. Thank you.

Friends. Ya'll are the best. Thanks for listening and letting me preach a little. :)

{better get to bed. i'm in a good ole hampton inn king size bed. sleeping in tomorrow. wooo hooo!}

quiet house

tonight it's quiet. everyone is sleeping and i'm sitting here thinking, reading, making lists. its been a good day/weekend, but for some reason i feel emotionally exhausted. decisions to make, a challenging afternoon with my almost 3 yr old, feeling like i disappoint people, feeling torn.... i'm not sure why even the simplest of decisions are so difficult for me to make sometimes (all the time)? it's like i am always struggling with all the pros/cons to make sure that i am making the 100% best decision and that i am not going to disappoint anyone (primarily dan, mom, dad, other family, etc). i have dealt with this my whole life. my parents were divorced when i was two and although they really did try to make it easy for my sister and i (no court appointed custody, child support, etc), i still became (at least felt like) the go-between. the one in the middle. the one who had to reconcile both sides. two sides that often had different ideas on even the most basic things (i.e. when/where to meet, visit lengths, etc). i love my parents both so very much and i have always tried to please them individually which has sometimes been hard. i know that God is my Master and that the most important thing is to please Him... not others. i do try so hard though and i am definitely addicted to people's approval. what a mess i am! thank You, Jesus for your love and mercy. i so want to walk in peace, freedom and joy and to keep my eyes on YOU and not myself. teach me how to live this out day to day. {all that said, i think i am learning that every decision isn't life and death. sometimes either way is ok and that if i make a bad decision it will be ok...also, my parents are great! the Lord has done/is doing a great work in their lives and i am so blessed to have all of my parents. :)}

enough about that. the girls were so sweet at bed time tonight. sophie was EXHAUSTED from a long day of playing hard at the park and at the fair (with her daddy & papa). she was being a stinker tonight and i was happy to finally get her in bed. we started to pray and she reminded me of her sore finger. i held her hand and started praying for her. she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep covered in love and blessings. gracie b. stayed home with mommy & junie tonight and after dinner she nursed for an entire hour! at bedtime she was wide awake. she finally started waning at about 10 after fighting it pretty hard. i laid her in her bed on her tummy and rubbed her back as she slowly tossed her head back and forth and drifted off to sleep. sweet, sweet baby girls.

tomorrow we'll head to church, say good bye to junie and head to NWA for the holiday. i'm looking forward to spending time with the whole family as well as meeting a certain boy who is apparently pretty sweet on my little sis! :)

ps- thanks, for all "the fridge" comments. who knew it would be such a hot topic! *wink*

the fridge

Last night I cleaned out the fridge. I've needed to do it for a while, but I kept putting it off because I knew it was going to take some time. Well, the time came! We have company coming today and I had to get the visible grime off the shelves.

Here's some evidence that this much needed cleaning was loooong over-due...

Exhibit A: The "Bowl" of Chocolate

I'm sad to say that this "bowl" of chocolate has been in our fridge since June '07. It is actually left over from the chocolate fountain at Steph's baby shower last summer. I kept thinking I might be reuse it and to be honest, I had NO IDEA how to get this frozen piece of chocolate out of the plastic bowl it was in. So.... I did nothing. I just kept over-looking it and putting it as far back on the shelf as possible. I missed being able to us the bowl, but felt as if I had no choice. This all changed last night! My handsome-hubby-to-the-rescue (again!) saw the bowl and asked me what what the heck was in it?! I told him the story and he had it solved in minutes. The chocolate went the trash can (after it was photographed. Dan thinks I'm so weird!) and we now have use of one more plastic bowl. Woo hoo!



Exhibit B- Grossly Over-Expired Food

EEEEWWWWW! Expiration Date 11-04-07. Yikes! The crazy thing is I hardly ever buy yogurt but I did today and I'm so glad I didn't open this one and eat it before I saw the date.


Well, if the yogurt was EEEWWWWW this is triple EEEEEWWWWWW! This once yummy, Pumpkin Pie creamer has been in there since last fall. You can actually see the moldy spots through the plastic. I'm so glad that I didn't pull this one out to serve at LIFEgroup! Yuck-eeee!!

Exhibit C- Un-necessary Food Duplicates


I laughed to myself when I found three containers of lemon juice in the fridge. Now, lemon juice certainly won't break the bank, but some other items could and why, oh why spend money on items you already have, Jennifer?! I also found 3 containers of mayo, 2 containers of miracle whip, and 2 new containers of whipped cream.

Am I too gross? Can we still be friends???

Here is my freshly cleaned refrigerator. Germ free and somewhat organized. It looks so empty with out all the leftovers.

I guess the freezer is next!

What does your fridge look like? Any crazy, year old stuff??

prayer requests....

are you familiar with the NieNie Chronicles? i've been broken hearted for this the family from AZ ever since i read about their situation last week. today, thursday the 28th has been proclaimed as "nie nie day" by design mom. there are online auctions all over the web today to raise money for this family in need. i've seen some of the items at "a room somewhere" and they are really beautiful. maybe you'd be interested in a an item or two? either way, please pray for this family. for a complete healing and restoration in their lives, for their children and families and that Jesus would be lifted up and that His purposes (salvation, hope, peace, healing, wisdom, joy, ect) would be accomplished in this situation.

(isn't the influence of the blogosphere absolutely amazing??)

also, there is a sweet family from my town that recently had a baby boy, tycen. tycen was airlifted to arkansas children's hospital today for respiratory problems and a low white blood count. last i heard, the dr's thought it might be pneumonia. please lift this baby and family up. daniel have been where they are today and it is a very scary, confusing and painful place to be. Jesus, i lift them up to you and i ask that you would surround them with peace, that you would touch this precious baby and heal him. i pray for wisdom and direction for the dr's and for you to draw this entire family to yourself and minister to them. Lord, please show us how we can help.


"The fervent prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective...." James 5:16

thanks!

thanks, mom(s)!

today has gotten better as it has progressed.

when i was awoken this morning at 5:45 am by my darling daughter, sophie, i was not so happy. to be honest, i felt like i had been hit by a truck.... congested, achy, terrible headache. maybe it was the benadryl i took last night? nonetheless, by 6:25 am sophie could not stay in bed any longer! she needed chocolate milk, a snack (how about breakfast?), and a movie. dan was still here so i gave her the goods, turned on "boz" and headed back to bed. about 45 minutes later i consented to the fact that i was, in fact, up for the day even though i felt terrible.

i'm sure you all aren't that interested in a full play-by-play of my day, but i just needed to set the stage and say thank you to my three moms. they all really helped me today without me having to ask for anything. i am a blessed woman.

first off, mom (jackie) had already scheduled to keep the sophster today. it worked out good since i had to take grace to the dr for a check-up. she must have seen how sick (terrible) i looked when she offered to make us some of her delicious & nutritious chicken and vegetable soup. (and encouraged me to go home and go to bed if possible.) thank you, mom! sophie had a great day playing in the sand box and learning to play "candy land" and the soup hit the spot!

secondly, mom (cheryl) called to let me know when they are coming to town (tomorrow) and that grandma "junie" will be coming with them! that in itself cheered me up, but i have to be honest...when she asked me if the girls or i "needed" anything i perked up even more. can't beat a little "retail therapy!" :) thanks, mom and we are looking forward to spending the weekend with you all!

thirdly, mom (lisa) called at about 10 am to see if i could use any help for a couple of hours and if i wanted anything from mc donalds (cinnamon melts...yummy!). i said sure. grace was about asleep and to be honest if she hadn't offered to come by i would have probably spent the remainder of my morning nursing my wounds, wasting time on the internet or sleeping. having her here helped me to get the laundry sorted (while she folded), unload/reload the dishwasher, etc, etc. thank you, mom! i enjoyed visiting and i really appreciate the help!

so, my day did get better. i did get a short nap before i took grace to the dr., i did a much needed wal-mart run, i spent time loving on my man and my girls, i cleaned out the fridge, and got most of the laundry done. (well, at least washed and dried.)

i've still got a runny nose and i'm definitely not feeling my best yet...but, i know that i am loved and am very blessed!

happy birthday, Jerusha!

today is my sis-in-law, Jerusha's birthday. although she lives far away and i haven't got her card in the mail yet (shame on me!), i just want to say happy birthday! you are a wonderful wife and mother, graceful, strong, beautiful, creative and a true blessing to your whole family! we miss you and the whole neufeld gang!






may God bless you with a fantastic year!



love,

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

*** This post was originally written the week after The 4th of July. ***

Last Thursday, we arrived in Northwest AR for the weekend. My Dad bought several tickets to see the AR Naturals play. They are a farm team for the Royals. (Listen to me talking like a true baseball fan. ha!) We arrived just in time and had excellent seats. They were covered which turned out great as the night continued. Mom, Dad, Dan, Me, Sophie, Grace and Sarah met up with my sisters, Jaclyn, Brittany, my brother, Jon and our friend, Tyler. (We call him T-Dog for short.)

I'll just be honest... none of us are die-hard baseball fans. I'm sure the "true Naturals" fans in front of us got quite a kick out listening to us observe the game and ask questions. (For instance the other team from San Antonio hit a home run and my bro, Jon wanted to know why no one was cheering?! Or when, my Dad said we'd go eat at "half-time." :))The Rose fam was primarily there for some good 'ole American fun and to watch fireworks and listen to the post game symphony! Too bad it didn't work out that way. We did spend way too much money on some good ole stadium food, see some more family (Steph, JM and Ro Ro), enjoy goofing off with one another, laughing at the Sasquatch mascot, Strike and just spending time together.

All was well, until my sister, Jaclyn (in the picture above) got her toe smooshed in the back of the chair ahead of us. I was sitting beside her and all of a sudden she started screaming and hitting the guy ahead of us in the back. I realized what happened, stood up and tried to help the poor man out of his seat. Poor guy! Poor Jac! Her toe was pretty severely smashed but she handled very well.

Then the rain started. And it rained and rained. Then the lightening started. And the lights went out. They covered the field more than once (which was really neat). We were super thankful for our covered seats. In the end, the rain won out and the game and post-game activities were cancelled. Oh well. We still had a lot of fun! Thanks, Mom & Dad!



************************************************************************************

Well, it turns out that we got a rain check! We are going to a rescheduled game this coming Sunday night and they will have the Symphony and Fireworks! Nick Jr's "Diego" is also set to make an appearance. Sophie will beso excited! WOO HOO!

Watch out Arvest Ballpark... the Rose's are headed your way once again! :)

Rain, rain. Stay away!