Oh how I have missed you. I write to you daily in my head. I write about my life, thoughts, joys, concerns and dissapointments. I write to you about my sweet, sweet girls and all the wacky things they say and do. I write to you about my relationships, I write to you about craft inspiration and finished projects. Honestly, I write often. Very often. But, it's all in my head! I've been majorly stuck in writing here because I am so very, very far behind. As in about six months behind! And we have BIG news here in Brewer land because we have a brand new member of our family (who isn't so new anymore!)
I'm sorry, dear Blog. I plan to be back! Well, as often as time allows!
It is time to introduce my darling little (big) love bug Ellie! I pretty much know that anyone who does read this has already been introduced to Ellie in person or via Facebook. But, since this is my blog and for posterity's sake and because I can't move on until I do this properly....please let me introduce her again.
Here she is!
Isn't she a sweetie?! Look at all that dark hair! (We hear this every day!) Her "birth" day was a very special day. I was a little more prepared for the c-section this time around so I was prepping myself for the pain to come. My awesome friend, Kori was so gracious to come and photograph the whole day. She was at our house by 5 am to document us getting ready, saying goodbye to the girls and prepping at the hospital. (She was also a huge support to me and I am truly thankful that she was there with me. She has been one of my closest friends for many years and I love that I can be myself around her and she makes me laugh so much! I love it!)
Anyway, I gave myself little goals all morning and I knew that I could do it again (the c-section) if I took it step by step...no make-up, iv, prep, spinal, gurney, surgery, post-op (ouch!), recovery, walking, the first night (YEEOUCH!), etc and all the way through. It really was a good day and we were so delighted to meet out sweet baby, Ellie. We were shocked to see her head-full of dark hair and darker skin. Seriously, everyone was like...whoa, the small amount of Indian blood we have is coming through. My nurses joked that they hadn't seen a baby with that much hair that wasn't Hispanic. She is definitely our baby though. She looks a lot like Sophie and like my nephew, Ike. Sweet, sweet girl! Sophie (4.75 yrs) and Gracie (almost 2.5 ) weren't able to come into the Women's Center because of Swine flu and that was hard, but it was also easier I think. They did get to meet her through the glass of the nursery and that was so sweet. It has been a huge adjustment here at home! Grace especially has had a hard time, but I am happy to say that it has been getting better and now I can actually lay Ellie down for a minute on the couch without fear of her being hurt. (Seriously!)
Amazingly enough, she is over four months old now (sniff). I will write more about her and and the big girls later, but I guess I really wanted to share about her today, because the preciousness of her life has struck me in a new way as I have remembered the events of this same day last year. Last year at this time....the first Friday of June (Lum n Abner days here in my hometown .) was the day that I thought I was having a miscarriage. I had just found out the day before (Thursday) for sure that I was pregnant, although I had suspected it for a week or so. I was heavily involved in tornado relief during that time and Daniel was at home working on replacing our roof. The girls were napping and I took a test. It was positive and I immediately ran out and asked Dan to come down off the roof. I told him. We hugged. We were happy. We were overwhelmed. We were thankful. The next call was to my dad. I told I was going to have to cut waaay back on my tornado work because I was having another baby. He was quite happy! We told a few people that day and the next morning I was up early for a meeting (tornado) with two close friends. I was at the airport and actually I had just shared the news a little bit before and then had to use the restroom. There was lots of blood. My stomach dropped and I was certain that I had had a miscarriage. I had never had any bleeding and I really thought it was over. We went straight to the doctor. Dan and my sister, Jaclyn took turns with me. I had blood test. My levels were definitely showing pregnancy. I was told to return on Sunday to take another test and it would show if the numbers went up or down. Hard weekend. Very unsure about anything. But, to our amazement the numbers were up on Sunday. I went to the doctor on Tuesday and that began a month waiting and testing and more testing. My dr. says I had a baby who didn't play by the rules! The hcg levels weren't lining up with the size of my uterus, etc, etc. The numbers were big! Mt dr was concerned that I might have an ectopic pregnancy or that I might have miscarried.We finally had an ultrasound three weeks later and what a BLESSING to see her little heart beating! The tech did see a dark spot on the slide that showed obvious bleeding and what was very likely another sack that had pulled away and not made it. (A twin would explain the high hcg levels.) I don't know. In some ways it is hard not knowing if there was another baby there, but at the same time I know that the Lord's hand was on my life, my womb, and on Ellie. I am so thankful for her life. At this point we are pretty sure that Ellie will be our last biological child. As she grows that has started to hit me. The last baby. We've shared a few tears this week as I have loved on her and snuggled her up and whispered to her that she will always be my baby. She always will.
Just like Sophie. Just like Gracie.
Thank You, Jesus. May we be good stewards of these precious lives you have entrusted to us. To YOU be the Glory!
Yay for a post! I think I am over my hump! Enjoy the wonderful slide show of Ellie's birth. Thank you, thank you, Kori! (She took like 800 plus pictures and then her and Jason graciously narrowed it down to about 8o or so. There are more good ones, but these tell the story well. :) Hopefully I will be back soon to share more of life here. Thanks for listening!