Wednesday, February 18, 2009

the dash

I'm a little down this afternoon. It has been a long day. Yesterday, I noticed that something had been draining out of one of Grace's ears. I had seen it the day before and thought it was just ear wax. Anyway when it came back I realized she might have an ear infection. She hasn't ever had one before and I thought that the other symptoms she had were from teething. I took her to the dr. today and she does have an infection in both ears. Poor baby. I had a very difficult morning with Sophie today and there is nothing that drains me faster than a huge fit. I willed myself (by the Grace of God) to not get angry with her, but instead to love on her as I was disciplining her, but she would not calm down.

This afternoon Daniel and I went to a funeral for his 91 yr old aunt. She was a sweet lady. A spunky woman and I have no doubt that she is in Heaven with Jesus. Her funeral was at the church that I grew up in. I seem to only go there for funerals lately and it always makes me sentimental. I started thinking about how I want my funeral to be, about how neither of us have life insurance and we both have no plan if something were to happen. When we left I talked to Dan a little about it. I told him I wanted all fresh flowers at my funeral. He looked at me like I was crazy because I never talk about stuff like that at all. I don't know why, but for some reason I am really emotional today. I read a little more about sweet baby Cora this afternoon and my heart broke for her family once again. Her chubby cheeks and sweet disposition remind me of Grace.

I so want to live a life of joy and love and self-sacrifice. I get so caught up in the flurry and the messes and running to and fro. I want to invest my life. I want it to count. I want my family to know that I love them. I want to teach my girls to look outside of themselves and their wants and to love Jesus and to let Him love through them. I want to care for the poor and most of all to lay up treasures in Heaven. This life is all we see and know right now, but in reality it is a fleeting moment. A simple dash.

God give me an eternal perspective.


Anonymous said...

Oh Jenn thanks for being honest--about everything-- I just sat here and read your post and cried. I've been struggling a bit with Roman. He is testing me a lot and I feel yucky and tired ALL the time and I don't feel like dealing with it which just makes it worse. Agghhh....anyways after a rough week i went to a meeting today and came home and Roman had an almost 103. temp. As I was holding his hot body and looked into those precious eyes i was reminded how blessed I am for everydayWhat a blessing he is to my life even when he's being a stinker.I too read about Cora and I wept. What a blessing every moment is with our sweet babies even the trying times.

Lord please protect them keep their bodies free from sickness and disease and give us wisdom to raise them to be children who know and love you. Give us patience and kindness always when we are dealing with them.

I love you Jenn you are a great mom. Good Job


Kori Hudson said...

I read about that poor precious baby Cora the other day, and it just made my heart ache for her family... I hugged my sweet little Norah so hard after that, and I don't think I put her down the rest of the night.

Kara said...

Thanks for checking out the mess. I thought of you and a mess post about Sophie that you did one time! It really is just overwhelming when that happens! I took this afternoon off just to try to get my thoughts back together.

Holli said...

I remember Cooper's first ear infection. I nursed him for 8 months and as soon as I quit, he got an ear infection. Talk about feeling guilty!

Jen said...

Hi Jennifer! So glad you stopped by...thanks for the sweet compliment on Caroline! I hope we get to have more sweet little girls is the BEST!

Let me know if you are ever interested in a "blog-lift"...I love practicing my new skills! :)